Why Can't We Be Friends?
by Fullmetal224
Summary: After the war, Ed and Al find Envy, homeless and beaten, and decide to take care of him. AU Warning: spanking in some chapters and an enema procedure.
1. Why

Why Can't We Be Friends?

Chapter 1: Why

It was a very rainy day in Resembool. It was after the big war, and Ed and Al, finally having their bodies back, decided to stay in Resembool and take it easy. They even built themselves a house a few miles from Winry and Pinako's. Right now, Ed was sitting in an archair by the fireplace, reading an alchemy book. (Ed still has alchemy in this story) Al was washing dishes from supper. They then heard a knock on the door, and Al went to answer it.

What he found there really suprised him. Envy was there, looking very cold, wet, and sad. Al, out of the goodness of his heart, let him in, knowing there would be nowhere else for the homunculus to go. "Who was at the door?" Ed asked. Al hesitated for a moment, then said, "Envy."

Ed just about choked on the coffee he was sipping. He quickly got up from the chair, and looked over at Envy. What he saw really stunned him. Envy, soiled with blood and dirt all over his body and clothes, which were very torn. His hair was a mess, it being like it was flung around here and there. Not to mention the rain and tears scattered all over his body and face. Ed felt a tug at his heart, and led Envy into the bathroom.

After getting the bath going, Ed helped Envy out of his clothes, and into the tub, where Ed did his best to get the dirt and most of the blood off. Once Envy was clean, Ed could clearly see where he had been cut. Luckily, Al was able to study alkehestry in the time before Envy came, so soon, Envy's wounds were all healed, and Ed used his alchemy to fix his now clean clothes. After helping Envy wash up and brush his hair, Ed and Al stood back to admire their handiwork.

It was then Envy got the courage to ask them his favor. "Could I p-p...please...stay here? I have nowhere else to go..." Ed and Al pondered this for awhile. "It's going to depend on whether we can trust you or not. In three days, I'll make my decision. If you kill or even harm anyone, you're going back out on the street, and next time you come here, it won't be as pleasent." Ed admonished, looking Envy in the eye.

Envy nodded, and let Al show him to the guest room. There, Envy tiredly got into bed, and quickly fell asleep, awaiting his fate the next day.

Well? How do you like it so far? R&R NO FLAMES!


	2. The First Day Part 1

Chapter 2: The First Day-Part 1

The next morning, Envy was woken up from his peacful slumber by someone shaking him. Envy turned over onto his side, and saw it was Ed, holding something behind his back. Ed motioned for Envy to stand up, so Envy tiredly got out of bed, aand watched as Ed sat down, placing what looked like a red paddle with yellow bumblebees printed on it on the table beside the bed. "Are you feeling okay now?" Ed asked. Envy nodded.

Ed sighed. He looked over at the paddle, then at Envy. "Have you ever heard of a spanking, Envy?" He asked. Envy had to think for awhile. He did remember when he would walk through town in disguise, some boys would tell how they got in trouble and got a spanking, but they never went into details about how it was done. "I've heard of it, but I don't know what it is, exactly." He stated, shrugging. Ed smirked. "Well, I'll show you. Come here." Ed pointed to his left side. Envy, curious, walked over to Ed's left knee. "Now lay youself over my lap. On your stomach." Ed ordered, patting his lap. Envy then draped himself over Ed's knees, his fingers and feet just barely touching the ground.

Envy's head jerked up, and he craned his neck, feeling a light breeze on his bottom. He saw Ed tugging his skort down to his ankles. :W-what are you doing?" Envy stammered. "You caused a lot of trouble before you came running to us. I know you feel that you've been through enough with people beating and cutting you, but this is different. They only wanted revenge. We are simply going to turn you into a better person, starting with what will happen if you break any of the rules we set here!" By the time Ed raised his voice for the last word, he smacked Envy's exposed bottom, making Envy gasp. Envy started to wiggle as he felt more spanks raining down on his poor posterior.

Envy tried not to cry, but by the 20th swat, he let a few tears leak out, and then started to cry openly. It wasn't until the 40th swat that Ed stopped, and watched as Envy kicked and tried to wiggle his hips to get off of his lap. Ed let Envy calm down, before standing him up and letting him hop around the room, rubbing his bottom as if there was no tomorrow. After his little "dance", Envy hurried to pull up his skort, along with a pain-filled hiss. Once that was taken care of, Ed had Envy gently sit down on the bed, and got ready to tell him the rules of the house.

Envy honestly tried his best to listen, but after the first three, which were "No disobedience, no disrespect, no lying", he started to tune out the rest of what Ed was telling him. Pretty soon, Envy fell asleep, excausted from all of the action. Ed understood, feeling that Envy was listening enough. Ed wrote a note, placed it on the bed post in front of Envy, and hung the paddle from a hook on the door, right where Envy would always see it. Ed then left it at that, letting the homunculus sleep the pain away.

R&R!


	3. The First Day Part 2

WARNING: This chapter contains a short enema procedure and a diapering. If you don't like that, skip this chapter.

Envy half-opened his eyes, letting in the late-morning light. His bottom still tingled from the spanking that was delivered what felt like hours ago. He saw the note on the bed post, and it read:

_**Envy,**_

_**to make sure you behave, I hung the paddle that you saw on your door, where you will always see it. And I won't be afraid to use it. But on the other hand, just be good while I am away for the day. Al will take care of you.**_

_**Ed Elric**_

Envy shivered at the thought of that paddle being used on him. If Ed would use it for everything, unlike last night when he used just his hand (though it still hurt like hell) Envy would promise himself he would never get in trouble.

Just as he was thinking that, Al came in, holding a small tub of cream. Envy watched in confusion as Al set the cream down, and pulled off the covers of his bed, to reveal the rest of Envy's body. Al kneeled in front of Envy, and opening the tub. Tears sprang up though, when Envy felt his skort being pulled down. He was about to cry, when he felt something very cold being rubbed onto his bottom.

He craned his neck as far back as it would go, and saw Al rubbing the cream onto his bottom. Envy sighed in relief as the cream was rubbed on. As soon as Al was done, Envy felt his hand being grabbed, and he was pulled up to a standing position. He groaned as he was dragged to the bathroom. What really confused him, was that once he got there, he saw a stange bulb and a tube, filled with a strange, sudsy liquid. Envy then felt himself being bent over the edge of the tub, and his skort taken all the way off. Envy, very confused and scared, looked at Al as best as he could from his position, and saw Al pick up the strange bulb and tube. Envy gasped when he felt the end of the tube being pushed up his butt, and moaned as he felt the liquid invade his inner rectum. This went on for what felt like hours, and suddenly, Envy felt the urge to "go". When Al let him up, Envy, not caring whether Al was looking or not, rushed to the toilet, and groaned as he emptied himself.

Before Envy could reach for the toilet paper, Al had picked him up by his underarms, and set him on his feet in front of the sink. Envy then saw Al reach for the Huggies wipes, and yelped as Al wiped his bottom with it. What frightened the most though, was when Al took out a diaper and baby powder out of the drawer underneath the sink. "There is no way in HELL I'm wearing that!" Envy yelled. Al glared at him, and took him by the arm to his room. Envy, very worried, covered his bottom with his free hand. He wasn't going to paddle him, was he? Envy felt some relief as they passed through the door, and Al took out the ironing board. Envy freaked when he felt himself being laid down on his back, and blushed as he tried to cover his privates. Al lifted his legs, and began to powder Envy's small bottom, taking no notice of his blushing.

Al then slipped the diaper under Envy's bottom, and put his legs down, though spreading them a bit. With great difficulty, Al lifted Envy's shivering hands off of his privates, and pulled the rest of the diaper over him, before fastening it, and pulling his skort back on. Envy quickly hopped off of the ironing board, and tried to walk, but with great difficulty, for it was virtually impossible for him to close his legs. Once it was all done, Al told him it was because he and Ed had talked to a doctor, and he said that Envy may be suffering from malnutrition, which may cause him to wet or soil himself or the bed.

Envy knew it was going to be a long day.

R&R!


	4. Envy's Trouble

Envy's Trouble (or The Second Day Part 1)

The rest of the day went semi-smoothly. Of course, Envy figured he would get ratted on for cursing at Al, (and during the middle of the day, Envy snuck off the diaper and wet the bed during his nap) which got him 30 smacks with Al's hand, and 20 with the wooden spoon from Ed once he got home. (not to mention they put him back in a diaper)

The next day, Envy was able to get up by himself this time, and see Ed leave, after hearing him warn Al that he might try to go into their rooms. Al turned to Ed and reassured that "he would be watching him". While they were talking, Envy snuck inside Ed's room, and saw a journal sitting alone on a dresser. Envy picked it up, and started reading as he sat on Ed's bed. But of course, it was in travelog, which Envy couldn't figure out.

After a while, Envy got bored, and bounced a little on Ed's bed. Then Envy got an idea. Envy got to his feet on the bed, and started jumping. Until he heard a crash, and felt his foot hit something. Afraid to look, Envy saw he had broken Ed's window, right next to the bed. What scared Envy the most, is that he heard footsteps coming to the room.

Not being able to help it, tears came to Envy's eyes. He knew he was going to get spanked now. Why didn't he listen? He froze when he saw Al come in, and stare at the window. Al glared at Envy, and took him by the ear out of the room.

Once they reached the kitchen, Al grabbed a wooden spoon, yanked down Envy's skort and diaper, and started swatting HARD. Envy tried to hold back his tears, but to no avail as he started crying freely. Once a few tears leaked out, Al grabbed Envy's upper arm, and led him to Envy's room. Envy's heart just about shot up to his throat when he saw Al grab the red paddle off of the hook on his door.

Envy whimpered as Al sat on his bed and dragged Envy over his lap. Envy hated this feeling. His fingers and toes barely touching the carpeted floor, bottom positioned in the air, the signs of a truly helpless person, having to grit his teeth and hope it will be over soon.

After a few seconds passed, Envy felt the horrible sting of the paddle on his posterior. Envy tried to bite back the cries of pain, but of course, to no avail as he was soon crying his eyes out and kicking his legs in all directions, trying to avoid the terrible sting of the paddle.

After what felt like hours, but was only five minutes, Al stopped, and let Envy off of his lap. Envy immediately started to rub the red, stinging flesh. After a few minutes, Envy was calm enough to hear Al tell him to go to the corner. Confused, but not wanting another encounter with the paddle, Envy shuffled over to a nearby corner, and rubbed the remaining tears from his eyes.

After about two minutes, Envy huffed in boredom. '_I feel like I've been here for an HOUR!_' Envy thought. He huffed again, then finally turned his head slightly. Seeing Al wasn't there, Envy peeked out of the room, to see Al in the kitchen making lunch.

"I see you, Envy." Al stated, making Envy jump and scurry back into his room and into the corner. After a few more "hours" (eight minutes) Al finally came to get Envy. Envy was overjoyed when Al came to get him, but blushed when he saw a pillow on his chair.

Of course, what would you expect?

R&R!


	5. More Trouble

NOTE: This story will now be set in Envy's P.O.V.

More Trouble

This sucks.

Here I am, sitting in a corner, wondering how I got here. I hear an old lady who Ed and Al call "Miss Grayson" cleaning the house behind me. What did I do to deserve this? Oh, I remember...

_**FLASHBACK**_

The day after I had gotten in trouble with Ed and Al for going into Ed's room, I had asked Ed if I could go outside. Of course, I had to put on an innocent act to ward off suspicion. Once I was outside, I saw a fence a few yards from the house. It was very tall, so I had to climb to see what was on the other side. I threw one leg over the fence for balance, and I saw a beautiful fruit garden on the other side. (Did I mention I love fruit?)

Well, I do.

Anyway, the first thing I attacked was the apple tree. Once I bit into the apple, I went fruit crazy. Any fruit I tried just fueled the fire in me. Pretty soon, I looked at the garden again, and let's just say it wasn't as pretty as it was before. Getting nervous, I ran to the fence, but an old lady was blocking me.

"Move, lady! I need to get home before someone sees me, dammit!" I yelled. The next thing I knew, the lady had hit me on the head with a stick! "You little whippersnapper! Ruining my garden, eating my fruit, I oughta spank your fanny for what you did!" She yelled even louder while bonking me on the head with the stick every few words.

I don't know how, but right after she lectured me, she grabbed my ear, and started dragging me to her house, swatting me with the huge stick every few steps. Every smack, I yelped and tried to free my ear. Soon, I felt something wet trickle down my legs, and realized that I had actually wet myself! How embarrassing!

By the time we were inside, I was sure my ass was on fire and my ear was pulled off. I reached back to rub, but the lady grabbed my wrist, dragged me over to the couch, and flung me over her knee. I squirmed, but she was strong for her old age, and held me down.

The next thing I felt was my skort and (I'm embarrassed to say this) diaper being taken down and all the way off. She saw the wet spot on the diaper, and chuckled, making me blush. I craned my neck back, and saw her grab a hairbrush off of the table next to her. My eyes widened, and I squirmed all I could to get up.

By the time it collided with my bare flesh, I screamed and felt tears sting my eyes. I had never felt so humiliated in all my life! After what felt like 100 swats, I was sobbing loudly, tears flowing down my face. She finally stopped, and carried me by my underarms to the bathroom.

I yelped as she sat me down on the cold toilet seat, and I saw her run a bar of soap under the water of the sink. When it was thoroughly soaked, she held it up to my mouth, and demanded that I open my mouth. I shook my head no, and she swatted the side of my thigh. I yelped, and she shoved the soap in my mouth, and rubbed it until I was sure my tongue was numb.

She finally took the soap out, and layed me down on the cold floor. The horrible taste of soap still filling my mouth, she took out some baby powder and diaper oil, and powdered my ass, then rubbed the stinging oil all over my lower regions, reawakening the pain in my rear. I then saw her take out a very small diaper, and fastened it on me. It was actually very soft, and relieved some of the pain in my ass.

It was after the diapering she let me rinse my mouth, and made me sit on this small stool in the corner.

_**END FLASHBACK**_

I'm hearing Miss Grayson on the phone behind me, and I sweat, wondering if she might be calling Ed or Al. What would they do when they find out I went into her yard?

R&R!


	6. Getting Home

Getting Home

I was still very scared when Ed and Al came over to get me. When Miss Grayson let me off the stool to see them, I gave them both my best "innocent" smile, but the glares they gave me wiped it right off. Ed leading the way, they led me home, and I was just about in tears as I saw my room. It was bright pink, with rainbows all around. In one corner, there were stuffed animals of all kinds and sizes. In another, a toy box filled with baby toys. Where my bed used to be, was a crib big enough to fit Al in.

I looked behind me at Ed and Al, giving them a beseeching look. Ed closed his eyes, and sighed. "For two weeks, since we can't trust you to do as we say, we will treat you as a small child who can't seem to take care of himself." He told me.

I was extremely shocked. First a diaper, now they're gonna have me sleep in a crib! This was unfair! But I wasn't about to say that, and get my ass into even more trouble. I suddenly felt myself being picked up around my middle, and placed in the crib. I looked up sadly at Ed, who stuck a small pacifier in my mouth, and lied me down for a nap. A NAP! I'm much to old for naps!

Next thing I knew, I was asleep.

When I woke up, I groaned, and climbed over the tall bars of the crib, the pacifier no longer in my mouth. I winced as my ass hit the floor, for the crib was awfully high. Pretty soon, the pain in my bottom intensified, and I started to cry and clutch my ass. Ed came running in, and saw my agony. He then scolded me lightly about climbing out of the crib, and took off my skort and diaper, seeing my fiery red bottom.

After Ed put some cream on my ass, he put me in a highchair, tying a bib around my neck. I wondered what the hell was going on. When Ed held up a spoonful of baby-barf colored glop up to my mouth, I figured it out. He was trying to feed me. It looked like a plate of mashed barf with yellow bits of...eww...I didn't want to know. I then remember seeing a mother feeding a baby of about 4, and he was raising hell for her.

So I got a little idea.

R&R!


	7. Dinner Destruction and Playpen

Dinner Destruction and Playpen Pandemonium

I looked at the plate, and threw it at Ed's face. The look Ed had was so hilarious, I laughed so hard my stomach hurt. I suddenly realized that some might've gotten in his eyes, as he started to clutch his eyes, and yell. Al gave me a look to stay put, and led Ed to the bathroom. When Al came out, he picked me up out of the highchair, tucked me under his arm, and started to spank me with his hand.

I tried to pull through it, but before the first 5, I was crying my eyes out. Once I started to cry, he put me down in a playpen big enough for a full grown man. He had to open a door for me to get in. He then shut the door, locked it, and sat down in a chair to watch me. Ed came out of the bathroom, his eyes very red and puffy.

After a few minutes, while I was stacking some blocks, I saw a gap between the bars of the playpen. I grabbed my favorite toy, a stuffed rainbow-colored chameleon named Callia, and stuck my head through the bars. I saw Al was gone to the bathroom, and Ed was in his room, working. I squeezed both me and Callia through the bars, and decided to play hide-and-seek with them. I ran to the laundry room, and hid in the dryer.

A few minutes later, I smiled as I heard Ed and Al calling for me. Just then I had an awful idea. What if they found me, and they spanked me? I don't know if I could take anymore of that! I hugged Callia to my chest, and waited.

After even more minutes passed by, I heard footsteps coming toward me, and I squeaked in fear. He must've heard me, because the dryer opened, and Ed peered in, not at all happy. He grabbed me by my arm, and dragged me over to my room. He sat me in the crib, and rummaged through the closet, finally pulling out a small green chair. It was so small, I doubt even Ed could fit in it. He then took me and the chair to living room, and set the chair in the corner. I was confused. What was he doing?

I then heard Ed tell me to sit in the chair and think about what I did. Was he crazy? I couldn't fit in that chair! But I obeyed, not wanting another spanking. I read the writing on the seat, and it said, "The Naughty Spot" In cursive letters. I sat down, and suddenly felt a sting in my rear. Ed noticed, and smiled.

"It's called 'The Naughty Spot' for a reason. When you sit down on it, the chair makes the spanking hurt a bit more. Not so much that it's agonizing, but just enough to get the point through. I want you to sit here for 10 minutes and think about what you did. I don't want to hear a word from you."

10 minutes! Was he insane? But I didn't want a spanking, so I nodded. After a few minutes of shifting, I turned, and saw no one behind me. I turned back to the wall, and sighed, hugging Callia to my chest.

After 10 minutes past, Ed let me out, and I hopped up, rubbing my aching ass. Later, there was a _**THUMP!**_ At the door. Ed went to see what it was, and it turned out it was a brown package.

R&R!


End file.
